Wednesday, April 16, 2008

It's Me, Tyler

So I was thinking... There are things I love to do in life, things that remind me why life is so awesome. Some of those things I share with other people, but other things I keep hidden away and only share with a select few. You might call these things talents, but then that would be presumptive of me now wouldn't it. Let's just call them things that Tyler loves to do, and you can decide whether we should give it the label of talent, semi-talent, or please go back to not sharing that anymore. Well anyway, I wanted to share something that I love to do with the world and this is kind of a spur-of-the-moment thing and I will probably regret it tomorrow, but here it goes. I love to write, a lot of things but mostly poetry, or you could even just call them thoughts. Some of them rhyme and some of them don't, but they help me get out what I am feeling, whether at just one moment in time, or a large portion of my life. I started when I was around 20 years old when my sister gave me a journal-type-thing and I decided to actually use it, and I have found a certain sanctuary in it ever since. Now what I am about to share is not so that I can be like "What's up, look at me" I just don't want these things I write sitting on pages that are only read by Rachel. So please just read (or don't) and maybe even enjoy. (Side note - Just because the poem is kind of depressing, don't think I am going downer on you, it was just a glimpe of a feeling. So no calling the psychiatrist for Tyler)

Well, here it goes...

On Thoughts of Freedom and Faith

What say you that all men are free?
When lives are lost each day in glories sight.
As picturesque undaunted minions grow,
who breathe each breath not giving due to heaven’s light.
Not giving due to heaven’s glorious light.

For what are bonds but that which ties
our hearts from thoughts which lends to glories flight.
In unbelief we choose a side
when caring minds of loved ones, wish us to but once increase the fight.
Hope and pray for us but once to fight.

There’s so much disenchanting pomp
and circumstance which flies away at faiths true love.
That seeks for sight from blind man’s eyes
and darkness brought to earth from light above.
There is no darkness in the light above.

And what of faith, or skin, or sex
when seen in eyes of glories heaven-bound dove.
That God would ask for tendered sign
when giving forth His matchless glories love.
His matchless, endless glories love

So call it Faith, or God, or Sight,
but do not give up that first breaths relief.
For in deaths eyes we find our love.
That lively wonder each lasts lips proclaims belief
Oh, don’t give up your rightful gift, belief.

Hoping and Wanted Dreams

I feel empty in
I feel empty out
Shell is my masterpiece
Turtle without a doubt

Mushy and seldom right
Can’t find my in – between
Living on lollipops and
Mixed up and broken dreams

Can’t seem to see a way
Out of this shady light
Wishing for smell and taste
Wanting to loose my sight

Reaching into my heart
Missing, but where’d it go
Burnt up or froze away
Wish I could feel the snow

I should be happy now
Picture frame masterpiece
Everyone looks inside
Looks but they can’t believe

How if my heart is gone
Can it still hurt this way
Why with the morning sun
Don’t all my fears displace

Grabbing for something nice
Just a touch out of grasp
Looking at faded scenes
From somebody else’s past

Crazy and out of touch
When reality points at me
Wish I could feel just right
Wishes can only be

Ground up and spit into
Endless and dreary sea
With all the memories past
Of hoping and wanted dreams


A bride in beauties splendered white
Adorned with joy and loves pure grasp
Is like a budding lilac tree
Just given life from the sun’s rays past

She sees a dream she’s dreamed before
And played unending in her mind
She watches this true love of hers
This man she thought she'd never find

And to her mind comes moments past
That have given pain or unwanted sense
She has lived a life with both good and bad
But is born again from this time hence

And this man she loves watches her in awe
And gives thanks to God for this eternal gift
He has tried so hard to live right for her
This girl who in times he had thought he’d missed

He has searched for love but didn’t know it would come
In all that he feels when he’s looking at her
These feelings he’s having so revealed and exposed
Of the friendship that’s causing his emotions to stir

He knows that he will do everything for her
Giving sweat and time to the cause of their love
He will be the man that he has wanted to be
And will gain strength in trusting in the power above

So the path they’ve started is now meant for two
Walking side by side through thick and thin
They must think of each other before they think of themselves
And an endless glory they will truly win

But the path they’ve started will be rocky at best
And will cause them to push more then ever before
But the prize that awaits them for trying so hard
Is the chance they will have to eternally soar

So as they look at each other, on this day of all days
And give thanks to the Lord for the feelings they bare
The eternities love that in each other they see
Is the happ’ly ever after, that together they’ll share


I was sad in that moment.

Trapped inside the darkness.
Reeks of paranoia.
I’m depressed.
I’m failing all my treasures,
That are true and golden.
I’ve confessed.
Trying hard to breathe, but can’t.
Could explode if luck relents.
Holding down this fear inside my chest.

Why can’t I do the things I love,
Without the sorrow and the pain?
Why can’t I be a hero now,
Unless I throw my self into the train?
I’ll fall before I get there,
This place I go that only light can see.
When all I need to get me through this day,
Is to be a little bit of HAPPY.

I’m feeling sick, and ever so cold.
I want to shoot,
Or maybe explode.
Crazy thought, but who’s to tell.
I’ll give my life,
My dreams I’ll sell.
For only a small drink,
And the feelings real,
Of HAPPY things
I used to feel.

I tried but failed.
I cried
and wailed.
I sank,
And drown,
And hit the ground.
I dreamt,
I prayed,
I felt afraid.
I hoped
To be,
But never saw

(I wrote that one after a particularly wonderful test)

The Storm

Each new person
Drops of life
Into a pond of joy and strife
But like the waters
Waves will form
and each new person lives the storm
Storms of beauty
Cool and fresh
Enjoying life and each new breath

Well there you are, a couple segments from the mind of Tyler. Congratulations, you made it to the end, and for that you will recieve one bigoogilian dollars. So I hope you enjoyed, I figure every once in a while it is good to make yourself... um, a little vulnerable.




Debbie said...

We all know that you have a sensitive side,Tyler. But it is awsome when you let it show like this. I really enjoyed getting to know you a little better.
Thank you,

Love, Your favorite mother-in-law

christy said...

all excellent, but my favorite one is "eternity", and it was hard to finish with all the tears in my eyes. lovely job tyler!

Anonymous said...

We loved all of them, but our favorite is "eternity"!!
Thank-you for sharing...
We Love you all so much & miss you more each day...
Mom, Dad & Trenton