Monday, November 26, 2012

For Love of a First Grader

Garret is teaching me about love and learning about it himself.  Here are just a few examples-

Garret joined a basketball team (so did Spencer but that is another story).  It's really scary for him.  And a little out of his comfort zone.  The first week I showed up with all the kids and walked him from his class to the gym.  This week I really felt like it would be good for him to go on his own and I would pick him up after.  I know him and understand him so well, I knew this would be scary for him.  I also know him and love him so much that I know I have to help him find ways to be confident on his own without me always there.  It was hard for me and for him.  Sometimes love means not being there when we really want to be.  

When Garret has a hard day at school he has to get it all off his chest.  It usually means running to me when he gets home sitting next to me on the couch.  Laying his head on my shoulder while he pours his whole day out.  It means I have to remind myself over and over that these petty things are big to him.  Sometimes love means listening and being there.

Garret is the most obedient student at school.  Then he gets home and has all this built up energy and goes a little crazy. He is not really being bad.  Just playing loud and wild.  Sometimes it makes me want to scream and tell him to be quite.  Then I have to remember that he is still little and just wants to play.  Sometimes love means not saying the things I really want to say.

Garret loves Spencer.  It is the sweetest, wildest brotherly love.  They wrestle (seriously, they wrestle until one of them pins the other for 3 seconds).  They look like bear cubs.  They grunt and grown and knock each other down.  They love it. Sometimes love is very physical. 

Garret has been reading for a long time but is just starting to read for "fun" and not because I am telling him to.  When I hear him read and can tell he is enjoying it, I am so proud of him.  Sometimes love is watching others fall in love (with a good book that is). 

Waiting for Garret is torture for a toddler. Titus Tries to break free from my grasp whenever we see Garret after a long day apart.  Whenever I finally let him free he races for him and wraps his chubby little arms around him and says "hi Garret".  Sometimes love grows through absence.

Garret is grossed out by "kissing".  We talk about love and dating.  He usually just has not interest in it.  Today he said "Mom I don't like girls like that.  But when I do, I think Jenna might be a good person to date.  She is really nice and was student of the month."  I said she sounded like a good person to be friends with and who knows later.  Sometimes love is meant to stay on the shelf for a long, long time.

I may not always show my love the way he needs, but I do know that despite my imperfections I love him completely and always will.

1 comment:

Steve Bennett said...

Rachel!! This made me cry. You are such a wonderful mother and I have days like this with Lils. Love this post so much!! Becky : )